If you are reading this, the highest probability is that you are living in the western world, above the poverty line, in a democratic environment. Your heart may be broken, you may not have enough money to get to the end of the week, and you may be fighting for your life. But by most accounts, you are extremely fortunate. We have every advantage to be happy, healthy, and deeply fulfilled. We joke about “first world problems” but do we ever take a minute to really think about what that means?

If you were somewhere else…

If you were unfaithful to your spouse, you would be stoned, likely by your neighbours.
Want to convert to a religion other than the one you were born in to? That would warrant execution
Thirsty? Clean water is five miles away. Walk to get it. You have one bucket
Have you complained about the government in an email? You’re going to court.

We could go on with the atrocities and restrictions that exist in the world. Everything from the extremes of human trafficking, and torture, to what we consider basic health-care. Sometimes, the most direct route to appreciation is through the darkness, even if it is merely imagined. Face the fact that even in our struggles, most of us are privileged. We have so many rights; must we exercise the right to complain?

I am blogging this from the deck beside my pool, under an umbrella, annoyed that it is not quite as warm as they said it would be today. I am drinking cold pink lemonade with white wine, in a new TopShop bikini, using wi-fi. I think I will choose to be appreciative.

Your mother had the right idea: eat your dinner, there are children starving in the world.

Your roaming data charges. Your commuter delays. Not being able to get into the newest hot club. Chipping shellac nail polish. A few extra pounds hanging out on your thighs. Really, is is the worst of your problems?

Perspective. Work it to your very great advantage.

It is a well known fact that women find sexy, rebellious rogues attractive. Duh. Little peach included. I know I know, grow up right? Until now it has not really been clear why women choose to turn that attraction into long-term relationships, when they know they stand a high chance of getting burned. New research, however, reveals that the secret lies in the hormones.

Sure, a woman might choose to mate with an attractive male because evolutionarily it means attractive kids. But that does not entirely explain things, as there is more to life than good-looking offspring. Now, research conducted at the University of Texas at San Antonio and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that during ovulation hormones affect judgment of parenting potential. Kristina Durante, one of the researchers, explains:

“Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads. When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right.”

Essentially, during ovulation women are more likely to believe that rogues would make better potential fathers—so they specifically pick sexier men over obviously more dependable men—even if they are jerks.

To establish that, female participants were asked to view online dating profiles of either sexy or reliable men during periods of both high and low fertility. When asked to predict likely paternal contribution from the prospective partners close to ovulation, the women thought the sexy men would contribute most. In other words, that long-term, they would make better dads.

The researchers backed that up with a second study, where actors played the role of sexy cad or reliable dad, and the result turned out just the same. So, if a woman starts dating an asshole, she will—at least once a month—be under the impression that he will make a good long-term mate. One interesting aside is the fact that the effects only seem to apply to the individual. Durante explains:

“When asked about what kind of father the sexy bad boy would make if he were to have children with another woman, women were quick to point out the bad boy’s shortcomings. But when it came to their own child, ovulating women believed that the charismatic and adventurous cad would be a great father to their kids.”

The take-home message from the research? Timing. Timing is everything.

I hope everyone has checked the Toronto forecast for this coming long weekend.

Is it July or is it May? Who cares, it’s awesome. Get excited.